ElectroQui
by padawanjinx
Summary: Just a short story from a bunny that bit me while I was taking a break from a serious story. Just a Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan "for fun/silly" fic...no slash


  
ELECTRO-QUI  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't em, I'm just playing with em. Don't think about sueing, cause I won't give ya nothing.....so..NAH!:P   
Give a big THANK YOU to the master of all Jedi's.....Uncle George.  
  
  
Takes place 7 years before TPM. Obi is 18.  
  
Special thanks to BlueLightnin for her support and encouragement to make me write this.  
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"Obi-Wan, stay low. There will a slimmer chance for you to be struck if you're lower to the ground. Stay away from trees and anything metal." Qui-Gon instructed his apprentice.  
  
"I know master, you've told me repeatedly throughout our stay here. I know all about the powerful lightning storms on Vage, we've been here for almost a month." Obi-Wan snickered.  
  
"We just need a few more minutes of cover until the pilot is ready to take off, then we'll be off this strange world. You just wait, one day you'll forget your lessons and have to pay for it." Qui-Gon shot back.  
  
"Yes Master." Obi-Wan settled down against the ground, glancing at the lightning strikes in the distance.  
  
A bolt of lightning lit up the sky, echoing the color of brite blue against the pale yellow sky. Thunder boomed and rattled the Jedi's, the deep howl of the wind called through the trees.   
  
Ususally darkness signaled a storm, but on Vage, the storms were brought by the high concentrations of ion particles and intense heat in the upper atmosphere, therefore, lighting up the whole sky.  
  
A large cloud of pastel purple collided with a deep lavender one, and a flash of lightning arched over the Jedi's head, shattering a tree not to far from the refugees. Several scattered debris rained on the Jedi's.  
  
The pilot signaled to Qui-Gon that the ship was ready to disembark. Qui-Gon nodded his understanding and ushered Obi-Wan ahead of him.  
  
"Master, what are you doing?" Obi-Wan asked.  
  
"The lightning will have a smaller target if we go one at a time. Remember to stay low and head straight for the ship." Qui-Gon reminded his padawan.  
  
Obi-Wan nodded and began to run towards the small transport. The clouds alerted the lightning, causing the streaks to become more intense. The lightning struck just a few feet away from Obi-Wan's hurrying form. Obi-Wan threw up his arm to protect himself from the flying dirt spraying all over the place.  
  
He let out a heavy sigh once he boarded the ship and turned to signal to Qui-Gon that he was safe aboard and that it was his turn to brave the unforgiving weather. He shielded his eyes from the intense light from another bolt of electric blue.  
  
Qui-Gon seen Obi-Wan safely board their transport and headed towards his apprentice. He stooped low, running as fast has he could in the unusual position. A large pocket of ion was ignited by a sudden surge of heat, and lightning streaked across the sky like many boney fingers. Several bolts touched down within a few meters of the speeding Jedi.  
  
  
A massive charge shot across the sky and ignited another cloud of lavendar particles. A whitish-blue streak shot down and zapped the tall Jedi Master. Obi-Wan yelled at the top of his lungs, but the noise from the storm was drowning him out. Within a heartbeat, he was racing out of the ship, heading towards his fallen mentor.  
  
When Obi-Wan reached his masters side, his heart stopped momentarily , his mouth went dry and his eyes threatened to tear up. He noticed small bolts of electricity jumping randomly over Qui-Gon's still form.  
  
Qui-Gon was sprawled out face down in the scorched barren earth surrounding him. He twitched slightly as the electricity shot through him, sending his nerves on an overcharge of synapses.  
  
Obi-Wan reached down to feel for a pulse, but a small bolt of electricity singed his fingertip. He jumped back startled and concentrated on the force to shield him. He placed his hands along Qui-Gon's neck and felt the reassuring pulse of his blood through his veins.  
  
Qui-Gon jolted awake with Obi-Wan's touch, and slightly turned to look at the face of his padawan. Obi-Wan's face was mixed with concern and amusement.  
  
"Just what could possibly be so funny about me nearly being killed?" Qui-Gon asked, pushing himself up off the ground and struggling for balance.  
  
Obi-Wan put his arm under Qui-Gon's and helped steady him, smirking, "You should see your face. It's black, and your hair is sticking straight out!"  
  
Lightning bolted across the sky again, reminding the visitors of its power and destructive nature. Qui-Gon put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder and walked uneasily towards the ship. Obi-Wan used the majority of his energy to steady his master, which was difficult while stooping over.  
  
They boarded the ship and Obi-Wan told the pilot to take off. The pilot acknowledged him and exited the fearful weather and headed to Coruscant. Thankfully, they were only an hour away.  
  
Obi-Wan made Qui-Gon rest for the short trip back and argueed with the elder about recieving medical attention.  
  
"How am I'm going to explain this to the council?" Qui-Gon asked, rubbing his face desperatly to remove the charred look.  
  
"Its not so bad Master. Maybe you can tell the council that your trying a new look?" Obi-Wan giggled.  
  
"Now I know how the food feels when you get in the kitchen" Qui-Gon shot back with a sly grin.  
  
Obi-Wan's jaw dropped in shock then added, "Yeah, but at least IT'S presentable to the council."  
  
"Oh, very funny padawan. This could have happened to you, remember that." Qui-Gon went to the refresher to scrub his face. "OH MY FORCE, WHAT IN THE STARS?"  
  
"What?" Obi-Wan asked, racing into the refresher. The site made him laugh so hard he had to brace him self against the wall.  
  
Qui-Gon stood, face black, hair standing straight on end, and his lightsaber stuck to the side of his face. He pulled it away again, only to have it flying back and slamming its hard metallic body against the side of his face, leaving another red mark.  
  
"This is NOT funny Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon stared at his pupil sternly, his lightsaber hanging off his chin.  
  
"Ye....yes....it i.......is.....ma...ma....master" Obi-Wan said through gasps of breath.  
  
Obi-Wan laughed even harder when his lightsaber made a move towards his masters face. He didn't notice his belt buckle twitching against the magnetic pull that Qui-Gon's body was emitting. Obi-Wan's belt snapped and flew at Qui-Gon, landing across his chest. Obi-Wan tied his lightsaber tightly against his waist and pulled his tunics over it.  
  
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry master. I shouldn't laugh. I could have been the one that was SO ATTRACTIVE!!" Obi-Wan managed to say before more laughter erupted from him.  
  
"That's not what I'm talking about. Look down, young one." Qui-Gon said, with a hint of amusement.  
  
Obi-Wan looked down and nearly doubled over at the site. There, under his tunic was his lightsaber, tied at the waist, with one end still magnitized to Qui-Gon. His tunic was "protruding", and not too discreetly.  
  
"I don't think I should stand in front of you." Qui-Gon said giggling.  
  
"Where here." The pilot shouted over the comm. "The council asked me to inform you that they want a full report, right after your done at the healers."  
  
Qui-Gon sighed and rolled his eyes. He turned quickly and splashed water on his hair to make it lay down. No such luck. His hair was still magnitized and he jumped back at a sharp stab of electricity shocked him.  
  
"We're on our way." Obi-Wan said, wiping tears off his face.  
  
As they made their way to the healers, Obi-Wan had to constantly cut metal objects off their obvious path and wait until his master was sufficiently out of range to move on to the next "attacker". Obi-Wan kept a huge grin on his face as they made their way down the hall.  
  
When Qui-Gon would pass a student, their lightsaber, belts, books and other assorted metallic objects would jump and attach itself to Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan had to pluck the metal off his master and walk some distance away to give it back to the owner, who looked at the two curiously.  
  
When they entered the medbay, a healer came out of her office to great them. A chair skidded across the floor and slammed into the backs of Qui-Gon's leg, causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the chair.  
  
"Well, that's one way to take a seat. But you shouldn't use the force for such trival things." the healer scolded.  
  
Obi-Wan snickered and tried his best to stay quiet, but it was hard with a blackened face master staring at him.  
  
"I didn't use the force. I was struck by a bolt of lightning and now I seem to attrack all kinds of metallic objects." Qui-Gon explained as a med tray flew at him and landed on his chest.  
  
The healer stared disbelievingly and sighed, "Well, I always knew you had a magnetic personality, but nothing like this. Let's see if we can see if can fix this, shall we?"  
  
Qui-Gon nodded as a datapad flew and landed itself on the back of his head."Please do what you can."  
  
The healer giggled and lead Qui-Gon into another room. Obi-Wan soon heard loud crashes and bangs, followed closely by a variety of curses in an assortment of languages.  
  
After a few minutes the healer lead Qui-Gon out, which in turn lead out several monitors and machines. Qui-Gon was covered head to toe in lab equipment, datapads, charts, and other assorted things metallic in the medbay.  
  
Qui-Gon stood in the doorway as Obi-Wan plucked off the attached pieces and carried them in a room down the hall. When Obi-Wan returned he burst out laughing again. Qui-Gon was sitting in the doorway with a hoverchair firmly in place along his back.  
  
The healer returned from her office and gave her report, "Well, there isn't anything physically wrong with you, other than being magnetized. I contacted the planet and they said this is a common occurance. The charge will last only a few hours, a day at the most."  
  
"Thank you." Qui-Gon said with a slight incline of his head, which was in the direct path of a very long and sharp needle.   
  
Obi-Wan caught the flying hypordermic and ushered his master away from all the possible "attachments" in the medical area. Obi-Wan noticed that the bolts of electricity that coursed through Qui-Gon's hair seemed to have intensified. He shook his head and walked with his master to the council chambers. He sighed heavily remembering the council doors were made of a non-magnetic polymer and Qui-Gon wouldn't permantly attach himself to it.  
  
For obvious reasons they avoided the lifts up to the council chambers, and huffed their way up the long winding staircase.   
  
Obi-Wan pointed to Qui-Gon's side, "Uhm, master, maybe you should hide my belt. And see if you can move your saber in a less than obvious location."  
  
Qui-Gon pulled at the saber hanging off his arm. He positioned it to his waist and pulled Obi-Wan's belt under his tunics and descretely pull the material over the objects.  
  
Obi-Wan giggled and opened the council doors, walking behind his master after he shut the door. Obi-Wan took his place along Qui-Gon's right side, hiding a smile. The council members gasp as Qui-Gon bowed and addressed the council. His black face and new hairstyle astonished them, then their attention drifted to Obi-Wan.  
  
The council members looked distracted and Obi-Wan looked behind him to see what they were staring at. He followed their gazes down on his own body and realized that his weapon was still magnetized, caushing it to stick straight out from under his shirt, and pointing straight at his master.  
  
"Padawan Kenobi, problem you have? Need medical attention do you?" Yoda asked in his popular way.  
  
"No thank you master, I'm fine. Besides, it will go away in a few hours, hopfully within the day." Obi-Wan said nonchalantly, putting his hand on the hilt of his saber and pressing it down against his side.  
  
The council members looked stunned and surprised at Obi-Wan's reply.  
  
"Masters, this is my fault. I was struck by lightning on Vage and now I seem have developed a magnetic field." Qui-Gon said as a barage of 12 lightsabers shot out from their hiding places along their owners and slammed into the exasperated Jedi before them.  
  
The council members looked around at one another in disbelief. They all turned to Yoda, causing the small master to look at them skeptical.  
  
"According to the healer, this will only last a few hours, possibly the day. I have to wait until the charge leaves my body." Qui-Gon sighed.  
  
Mace Windu stared at his friend, holding back a smile, "Very well. I suggest you remain in your quarters until the threat is over."  
  
Qui-Gon nodded his head in agreement, just has several belts and ornamental items flew at him, scattering across his body. He pulled a metal adorned sash away from his face, only to have it stick to his hand.   
  
The council members were startled at first, then one by one, began to chuckle in amusement. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed to the members and Obi-Wan ushered his master to the door. They erupted with more laughter as Qui-Gon turned, Obi-Wan wandered what they were laughing at, but began laughing hysterically when he seen a datapad stuck to his masters rearend. The screen displayed an ancient text, "There is No End, Only the Force".  
  
Qui-Gon's bright red face was soon changed back into his "not amused" expression and he stood in the doorway, waiting on his padawan to regain control over himself. Obi-Wan straightened up and walked to his master.  
  
Obi-Wan plucked off the attached fragments and carried them back into the chambers, piling up all the accumulated items on the floor. He snickered, bowed and followed his master down the hall.  
  
Qui-Gon was apprehensive about going to his quarters. They would have to pass the cafeteria on the way, and who knows what trouble he'd cause. He sighed heavily, receiving a worried glance from his apprentice.  
  
"I'm OK, I'm just worried about what kind of chaos this little incident will cause." Qui-Gon assured him.  
  
"Don't worry master. If anything, we can use you to enhance the reception on the transmittors, course, we'll have to put you on the roof.." Obi-Wan giggled and dodged a hand from his master.  
  
"You little brat, I should give you SO much meditation that you'll slip into a coma!" Qui-Gon said, quickening his pace to chase after Obi-Wan.  
  
As they ran, several objects began their own persuit. Obi-Wan turned his head to look over his shoulder and burst out laughing as chairs, datapads, and several wall hangings were chasing after his master. Obi-Wan slowed down, holding his stomach, due to laughing and the exertion of running.  
  
Qui-Gon caught up with him and grabbed his arms, only to be knocked to the ground by a large metallic picture frame. Soon the other debris caught up to their mark and pelted the elder unmercilessly. Obi-Wan laughed harded, slowly removing the pieces and carrying them further down the hall.  
  
When he returned, Qui-Gon stared at him with non-amusement. Obi-Wan stopped his laughing and resumed walking beside his master, still occasionally carrying away objects intent on joining with the big Jedi.  
  
Qui-Gon felt a strange poke along his leg and looked down to see a stray fork stabbing him. Soon, a huge entourage came flying at him. He gasped and ran as fast as he could towards his quarters, feeling the sensations of meal trays and eating utentils slam into him.  
  
When he got to his quarters, Qui-Gon thumbed the door open, unfortunaly it wasn't in time as a huge tray slammed into his head, knocking him cold.  
  
Obi-Wan caught up and carefully carried his master into their quarters, wincing as a knife cut into his arm. He slowly peeled off the magnetic objects and put them outside their quarters, and worked on removing Qui-Gon's tunics. Several places were bleeding, a couple were serious. Obi-Wan immediatly went to the comm panel and called for a healer.  
  
The healer arrived and her scanning device flew straight into Qui-Gon's room and planted itself snuggly against his shoulder. She soon followed and opened the scanner and it immediatly came to life, registering Qui-Gon's vitals. A blast of electricy shot out and fried the scanner, startling the healer and Obi-Wan.  
  
"He's getting worse. The magnetic field has actually increased, not disapated." The healer said astonished.  
  
"What does that mean?" Obi-Wan asked.  
  
"It means, young Kenobi, that the people on Vage were wrong. Qui-Gon isn't losing the charge, in fact, I think it's actually building. I need to run a few more tests, but I'm my theory is right, he may be building up a strong enough charge to conbust!" The healer exclaimed.  
  
"You mean he could blow up?" Obi-Wan studdered out.  
  
"I'll have to run some tests. Help me take him to the medbay." the healer instructed.  
  
Obi-Wan nodded and helped the healer to carry Qui-Gon to the medbay. They worked together to erect a force shield to help hide Qui-Gon's magnatism. Metal objects shook slightly, but remained in place.  
  
The healer placed Qui-Gon into a room and helped Obi-Wan remove all the metal, sometimes chasing down a stray piece that wanted to stay. When the room was cleared out, the healer set up several monitors and recording devices, luckily most monitors stayed in place. The healer read the vitals and then left to contact the medical personnel on Vage.  
  
Obi-Wan sat by his master side, watching and waiting for the healer to return. When she entered, she startled Obi-Wan from his vigil and told him of the news.  
  
"Apparently, this has happened before to a Jedi. When the lightning strikes someone that's force sensitive, it activates all the cells into a hyper state of activity. He needs to be struck again to counteract the effect and return him to normal." She explained.  
  
Obi-Wan felt relief mixed with concern, "Struck again? Do you think that's wise? He barely survived the first time! Who knows what will happen if we let it happen again."  
  
The healer put her hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, "It will be OK, you'll see. Just take him back to the planet and let the lightning strike him again. Don't worry, I'm coming with you to make sure he survives."  
  
When Qui-Gon heard about the "treatment", he was wary and at first, refused to go. But upon shocking Obi-Wan unintentionally, he agreed. It took several Jedi's to escort Qui-Gon to the ship to take them back. The force block worked and he was able to board the ship without any incidents.  
  
When they reached the planet, Qui-Gon ventured out of the ship during a storm already in progress. He stood and waited a very long time, until finally a bolt hit him, sending him flying several meters.  
  
Obi-Wan and several healers were automatically at his side, checking and supporting him. They carried him inside and put him in the medical bay for treatment for his burns. His face was blackened even deeper and his hair was burnt to a crisp on the ends. Some of the ends were still smoldering and the smell of burnt hair filled the ship.  
  
Qui-Gon woke to the surroundings of several people hovering over him, one of whom was his padawan.  
  
"Just what in the name of the force are you looking at?" Qui-Gon smirked.  
  
"Nothing Master, its just that you look like the last thing you cooked!" Obi-Wan snickered.  
  
Qui-Gon's hand flew up and smacked Obi-Wan along the shoulder, "You should say the last thing YOU cooked, not me. I'm an exquisite gourmet. You should take a few lessons."  
  
"Sure, good idea, I'll just go outside and get fried then I'll be a delustional Jedi like my master. I'll try to convice normal people that I'm a good cook and I haven't blow up the kitchen several times. Think it would work?" Obi-Wan retorted, dodging more smacks from his master.  
  
"That was only an accident, you know I didn't blow up the kitchen on purpose." Qui-Gon said defensively.  
  
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, "Once is an accident master, fifteen times is a addiction and a hazard. You forget, the council has forbidden you from ever going near a oven again. That should tell you something."  
  
"Yeah, it does." Qui-Gon said with mischief in his eyes, "That next time I cook, I'll tell the council it was all your fault! They'll believe me, afterall, I'm a Jedi Master."  
  
"Then I'll get started on my blackmail letter to the council explaining your intentions. They may actually Knight me for protecting them from your culinary wizardery." Obi-Wan laughed.  
  
"Remember young one, the oven is big enough to fit you inside! I'll cook your hiney!" Qui-Gon half threatened, half laughed.  
  
"Remember master, I should be prepared with a nice sauce and baked at 350 degrees for 5 hours, or until tender. But you know, if your doing the cooking, I guess that means I'll turn out dry and burnt, like everything else!" Obi-Wan smirked back.  
  
"That's it, you wait until I have my strength back, you've had it! I'm going to punish you SO badly!" Qui-Gon said, doing his best to hide is amusement.  
  
Obi-Wan looked seriously at his master, "NO master, I'll be good, please don't cook for me!"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
